How do you know if the people around you want you to be successful? The answer lies not in what they say. It's right there in what they do. Be sure you know what it looks like if they do (or don't) want you to win!
Smart minds think and write about what makes someone successful as a leader. There is value in studying what’s worked for others. While certain core traits are essential, ultimately it’s an upstream reality that impacts success or failure for you in a given role.
What?
I’ll explain.
It’s About Them, Not You
By upstream reality, I mean the people you work in and around. The headline – if they want you to succeed you have an incredible reservoir of influence you can tap. Afterall, it’s influence that drives success over the long haul.
So, you carry yourself and lead in a certain way. Best case scenario, people want you to succeed and are willing to act. They reflect your leadership back through their actions.
Let’s start there. Let’s dig into those actions — the ones you see and experience if they want you to be successful as a leader.
By people you work in and around, I mean those you manage, your direct and extended peers, your manager and senior leaders, and finally those in critical functional areas. If there is enough support and they want you to succeed and thrive, you have a fighting chance. If not, it’s a battle.
Taking stock periodically on forces working with or against you is time well spent. If it occasionally feels like things are just off and you can’t accomplish what you need, they probably are – off that is. It could be you are out of sync with one or more of these groups.
Let’s Start With Defining Success
This article isn’t an existential dive into what success is or should be. We’ll save that for another day!
For this post, I define success as:
Achieving sustainable results in the role you serve.
There are many moving parts and circumstances in play. Achievement requires enough people and moving parts to swing your way.
Successful Leaders Have A Sense Of Who Is With Them (Or Not)
You can think about the people around you in one of three broad categories. Those who:
Want you to succeed
These folks see your leadership as good for them, good for the business or both. It’s always helpful if they like you but not necessary. More important is that they respect your leadership abilities and are willing to act on your behalf.
More detail below on what it looks like when people want you to be successful as a leader.
Don’t want you to succeed
Here you have people who (for whatever reason) don’t see you as good for them, good for the business or both. They can be active dissenters or more passive aggressive.
Active dissenters are much preferred. You know what you have. Also, you can engage them. Often they seek the spotlight as a proxy for respect. Even with the most difficult people, there is a way to give them at least some of the respect they crave.
Be on the lookout for the passive-aggressive folks. Sometimes they are disguised as Want You To Succeed’s. They are threats to build teams, culture and just get things done.
Joshua Miller recently published an article recently called 7 Passive Aggressive Phrases That Erode Workplace Culture (& How To Stop It). Passive-aggression is defined as follows in his piece:
Passive aggression is a deliberate and masked way of expressing covert feelings of anger. It involves a variety of behaviors designed to get back at another person without the other recognizing the underlying anger.
Exactly! Painful to experience or watch.
As the article details, passive-aggressive types give you explanations like “never got the message” and “thought you knew.” It chips away at the culture and progress. If one of your direct reports is acting passive-aggressively, you need to get at why and address.
See the full article from Joshua Miller for more on what to watch out for and how to address.
Don’t care either way if you succeed
Ouch.
Ambivalence is brutal and never a good indicator. If you are in a role of influence and people in your orbit don’t care if you succeed or fail, something is “up” with them.
It could be something with them, you or both. Likely these folks won’t be actively helping or hurting you. Yet, if people don’t support you, it is a smooth slide to Don’t Want You To Succeed. It is worth the time to figure out and again a must if it is a direct report to you.
It’s not static.
People can and do move in or out of these categories.
It is influenced by what is going on with them or you. What you do or how you do it can draw people in or push them away.
Related: Connecting with employees is key to understanding where they stand on you. Here’s a unique look at how to do this – How Binge Watching Undercover Boss Will Make You A Better Leader.
What It Looks Like When People Want You To Win
Behaviors take a variety of forms when people want you to be successful. It lives through the day to day, often small contributions. The contributions accumulate though to create a meaningful impact.
Sometimes these behaviors happen organically. People do them without prompt. Other times you will need to engage. The available reservoir of influence I referenced earlier allows you to make requests of those around you. No good leader gets it done solo.
Here are 9 things people will do for you if they want you to be successful as a leader:
- Support your agenda – quietly or loudly they use their influence to support your message
- Help on a problem – will be a place to go when you need a smart mind or someone to carry water
- Favor they uniquely can do – will pull the strings they have a hand on
- Endure an inconvenience – will deal with annoyance, pain or discomfort if needed
- Quick turn on a request – put your ask to the front of the line
- Overtime on a project – will use their discretionary time for you
- Discretion as required – you can trust them with information
- Mulligan or a do-over – they get everyone will need mulligan now and then. They will toss you the ball without any drama.
- Forgive a mistake – will accept an apology and won’t make you pay.
Click here to get an infographic of the 9 Things People Will Do For You.
Each of the 9 and in total is incredibly valuable for you. If you experience support like this, tap into it. Thoughtful asks ensure you will get done what’s needed. Additionally, it builds cohesion with your team and your internal network.
How You Get People To Help Make You Successful As A Leader
You know it when you see and feel people wanting you to win. So, how do you get it?
1. You earn it
You:
- Contribute when asked or voluntarily.
- Collaborate with ease to support other causes.
- Put people first.
- Ask versus tell.
- Seek out and take in differing points of view.
- Explain why on requests made.
- Recognize every role/person in the organization is essential.
- Actively appreciates efforts of others.
- Leaves people and projects better than they found them.
2. Your leadership makes things better for your people and the business
You:
- Build winning teams.
- Put people first.
- Deliver results.
- Recognize contributions to results.
- Communicate consistently along the way.
- Ask versus tell.
Who Has The Greatest Impact On You Being Successful As A Leader?
There are only opinions on this question. Here’s mine.
My experience is the influence scale flows from left to right follows. Some may see this in the complete opposite direction.
Be clear; I’m not talking about who promotes you or even who pays you. Instead, my assertion is about who helps you get it done. Your team, your people, then your peers and any supporting cast are the ones who determine your success.
Your “boss” observes, assesses the output of it all. If they do their role even remotely right, they provide coaching and support to enable you to do your job. Most of all they are thrilled if you deliver results by engaging a high functioning team and being a good operator.
Are there bad bosses who block and stifle success, unfortunately, yes. This requires a separate deep dive if this is where you find yourself.
Transitions Shine A Spotlight: A Quick Story
While this reality exists at all times, you see it plain as day in leadership transitions. Several years ago I needed to fill a sizable leadership role.
Two leading candidates emerged. They were very different, but both were qualified and capable. Qualified isn’t enough. The tipping point was the unsolicited groundswell.
While the two were a study in contrast style-wise, more striking was the disparity in the local groundswell. A line formed around my office with people wanting to weigh in. Countless employees came to tell me why they wanted one and expressly didn’t want the other. One had local team support, and the other aggressively did not.
My decision wasn’t up for a vote. However, ignoring the undercurrent wasn’t a good option. If a team violently wants one qualified & capable person to succeed and not another, it’s highly predictive of success. Finally, that same team can make it so with their efforts every single day.
With the benefit of time, I know I made the right decision for a whole host of reasons. Leaders and teams thrive when they want each other to succeed.
What Do The Behaviors Of Those Around You Tell You?
Are you set up for success in your role? Can you call your team, your peers, and people in functional groups to the necessary work?
If you aren’t sure you have full support you need, it’s an opportunity to evaluate. The answers lie in how you present and lead. If need be, pay the rent!
If you feel positive about the support you have, then you’ve earned the right to make some asks. By all means, ask. Remember, people want (and need) you to succeed!
QUESTION:
What do you see and experience in people’s behavior that tells you they want you to win?
Please know that sharing your comments below & across this audience matters. A robust conversation to benefit all can and will break out! Thank you in advance for sharing and engaging.
Dig Deeper
Here is a quick piece by leading executive coach and speaker Lolly Daskal called Leadership Has To Be Earned.
Tools You Can Use
For a printable PDF of this post, click here.
One of the surest times to lose the trust of those around you is when managing through change. Check out How To Communicate Organizational Change So It’s Way Less Painful.