Why The Best Leaders Empty Their Cup First

Growing and developing as a leader is a must. What got you here simply isn't enough to help you keep pace in the future. It starts with humbly acknowledging how much there is to learn. Buddha famously said "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear." How full is your cup?

It’s possible for even the best leaders to have their experience work against them.  Sounds crazy perhaps — stay with me.

As a business leader, a host of experiences shape your leadership style. The hard yards of leading and managing improved your skills and proficiency.  You’ve likely dealt with a ton of situations and some many times.  And, you may feel like “been there done that.”

Be wary.

What if what got you here doesn’t work in the future?   What if things you are 100% certain of, aren’t all true?  Finally, how about if your well-learned behaviors and ingrained habits leave you treading water versus moving forward?

Every skill and approach you need in the future isn’t resident in your past.

The Very Best Leaders Don’t Confuse Repetition With Growth

I’m a golfer so bear with me on a sports analogy.  Most amateur golfers play on one or a small handful of courses.  Their equipment is decent.  As a result, they naturally work skills required in their everyday golf experience.

What if those courses don’t have sidehill lies, water or steep sand traps? What if they never play in the rain or when it’s crazy windy?  Or if they stay with the same equipment versus trying any of the new technology – clubs or golf balls?  Maybe they do some modest upgrades with their gear, but they stay with the same swing basics.  Finally, what if they opt not to take any lessons for those stubborn parts of their game?

Do they improve their score?   Are they prepared for anything outside their comfort zone?

At best they stay at par – meaning the same, not necessarily par! Instead, they likely lose ground compared to anyone they play pushing themselves to improve.

Forget about golf – think any sport, any hobby or crafting passion, cooking, etc. Growth comes from the uncomfortable stretch, not repetition. Yes, it can increase your pace and proficiency or lessen your preparation time.  However, it doesn’t translate to growth.

So ok, let’s say you buy-in broadly speaking, now what?

Stop, My Cup Is Full!

The phrase “empty your cup” has been passed down through the generations.  The story goes that a Chinese scholar went to see a Zen master to further his learnings. The scholar was full of opinions. He went on talking as the Zen Master poured tea for him. The tea began to overflow and on to the table. So, the scholar yelled, “stop, my cup is full.”

Exactly, said the Zen Master, you are like this cup, full of ideas. You come and ask for help, but I can’t put anything in.  You must empty your cup before I can teach you.

Empty your cup is an appropriate metaphor for leadership development.  The best leaders exhibit a sense of openness and humility. The best leaders continually push themselves to grow.

The Blessing And The Curse Of Your Leadership Experience

Your experience should be a teacher, not a limiter. Growth comes from challenges, new opportunities and the uncomfortable. Because of this, you have to want it.  Potential discomfort has a way of creating inertia.

The best leaders know the front door for personal development opens with accepting the discomfort.

Becoming That Better Leader

Intellectually, emptying your cup sounds reasonable to most. Achieving it and filling it with a fresh perspective can be more difficult.

So, it starts and ultimately only continues, with clearing out the clutter.  These ideas can help you create space:

• Be prepared to unlearn some things.  Accept that some of what you “know” is just wrong.
• Spend time with people you look past.  Who are the people in your world – professional or personal – you see right past?  What can you learn from them?
• Seek out people you don’t like.  They often speak the truth whether we want it or not.
• Seek out people with whom you don’t agree.   The other side of an argument is a gift.
• Hang out with people of all ages.   Cross-generational exposure illuminates history and a progressive worldview not bound by it.
• Read, listen, watch outside your lane.   Go outside wherever you usually go for information, education, and entertainment.
• Be open to learnings in less obvious places.   Leadership lessons rarely emerge in a conference room, office or cubicle.
• Give it some time.   Let all of this thinking sink in. The dots will start to connect.

Habits That Support You

Also, as you clean out the clutter and beyond, a few behaviors can be your friend. As habits, they will help you prepare for, find and onboard new perspectives.

1. Ask questions, often.  The best teachers, learners, and leaders ask thoughtful questions.
2. Listen, really listen.  Whoever talks the least, learns the most.
3. Get outside.   It doesn’t matter where you live —  city, suburbs, rural areas. Nothing gives a sense of perspective and clear-headedness quite like more time outdoors.  There are countless studies about the physical and mental benefits.

How The Best Leaders Deal With Confirmation Bias

It’s worth a pause on confirmation bias also known as my side bias.  It is:

Our tendency to select information and interpret in ways to confirm existing beliefs.

As a result, confirmation bias is working against your growth and development. You have almost assured a view stuck in the present if you only take in information similar to what you already know or interpret data to confirm what you already think.

We are all susceptible to confirmation bias.  Regularly onboarding information and views that challenge our thinking is the remedy. The punch list items above helps there as well.

Here is a link about How to Avoid Confirmation Bias at Work by Daniel Goleman (known by many for his book Emotional Intelligence).

I’m Here To Serve & Learn

No question about it, emptying your cup, is work.  It’s necessary for creating a better future.  One where you contribute enormous value and ultimately thrive.

In keeping with the theme, a Zen proverb sums up the two-sided nature of growth:

Knowledge is learning something every day. Wisdom is letting go of something every day.

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My singular goal with this blog and beyond is to play a small part in service to your efforts to grow professionally.  I would love to hear from you about what will help.

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QUESTION: 

What part of the process of professional growth do you find most challenging?  Why?

Please know that sharing your comments below & across this audience matters.  A robust conversation to benefit all can and will break out! Thank you in advance for sharing and engaging.

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Dig Deeper

In support of growth, here are two mind challenging pieces I hope you find value in:

1.) 4 Self-Improvement Myths That May Be Holding You Back

A recent Harvard Business Review article with critical myth busting.

2.) The Era Of Blind Faith In Big Data Must End

A recent TED Talk about the algorithms surrounding us. What if they are wrong?

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Tools You Can Use

For a printable PDF of this post, click here.

A bit closer to home topic wise, take a read of How To Manage Your Managers To Make Certain They Thrive.

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