Every day problems and inconveniences emerge at work or at home. They can suck the life out you and influence how you lead. If only you could fast forward to a headset where you have the proper perspective on it all...
It’s easy to define a day by an inconvenience or problem that arises. They can zap your energy and overtake your thinking.
If only we could recall the voice in the back of our minds – the one reminding us where this inconvenience fits in the scheme of things. No doubt there would be fewer lost hours/days, and fewer regrets.
But how?
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I Hadn’t Even Left Home Yet, And I’m In Trouble
I was flying recently to visit some friends. One of those you don’t get to see very often groups of people. I was looking forward to it. I get through the security checkpoint where they check ID and proceed to the baggage screening. When I approach the conveyor, I see my bag open, and the contents everywhere. Annoyed I recover it all except my driver’s license (my only ID).
Super, what an inconvenience.
A whole scene broke out with the TSA staff checking the conveyor belt, checking the entire security area, reviewing the cameras. They confirmed I had my ID 5 minutes and 10 feet ago, no evidence of it now. The supervisor said it must have fallen out in the machine and they are not allowed to open.
Again, super!
It was my only form of picture identification. I wasn’t even out of my home airport. No time to retrieve my passport, catch a later flight and make dinner. My trip was less than 24 hours in total so no time to overnight any documents to me.
Go, No Go?
The TSA supervisor assured me this happens all the time and I would be fine on the way back. She suggested I get to the airport 3 hours early even though it’s an inconvenience!
She said with a bit of drama in their voices, “as long as you are you, you will be able to answer their screening questions.” I festered for a short while as the plane was boarding and decided to go.
I spent the entire plane ride on googling what you do when you have no ID. I’ve flown extensively for 15 years and never hit this travel dilemma. Sidebar: lots of people lose their ID traveling. And, there is lots of conflicting information about what works and doesn’t work with TSA.
I’m a worst case scenario person, so I thought, I’ll drive back. Scratch that, no drivers license. I also checked the train schedule from Atlanta to NYC. 23 hours. Aye!
Inconvenience Replaced By Perspective
While I was happy to get there and looking forward to the night, mentally, I felt a little off my stride. The “what if” soundtrack was playing in my head. Until it wasn’t.
Once we were together and in the mix of the discussion, laughing, eating and drinking, the soundtrack in my head quieted. These folks are all great. I’m grateful to have them as friends. Friends pull you into the moment. That is a gift.
We were doing the natural catch up with people we all know, the goings on. Part of the discussion was about a work colleague and friend whose daughter was dealing with a grave illness and treatment requiring the entire family to be away from home.
The family was facing one of life’s battles with courage. The faces around the table suggested everyone’s soundtrack (whatever that might be) had silenced as had mine.
"You can choose to let this thing bother you or let this be an adventure and welcome the challenge." Fred Rogers
— Ryan Holiday (@RyanHoliday) April 23, 2018
And More Perspective
Despite knowing any day an inconvenience can happen, in real time they catch us by surprise. Sometimes they even stack up – when it rains it pours type days. There is a downward spiral of thinking and energy if you allow.
While intellectually you know your perspective will likely change, it is difficult to look forward at how you will ultimately look back on the relevance of this.
So in my case, the humbling moment arrived and demanded I take stock. It’s almost a shock to the system and pulls you back.
What if there isn’t the obvious splash of water? How can you borrow that sense of humility (at least some of it) from the previous, similar situation?
Related: 5 Ways Good Leaders Model Calm In The Face Of The Everyday
Homeward Bound, Learnings In Tow
I got to the airport ridiculously early. After an eye roll from the TSA person, the identification process began. It was a fascinating set of questions about me including the last three cars I owned (make and model). Couldn’t help but think what database has this information about all of us? What followed was a “personal pat down.”
Wow, personal is the right word.
Again humbled, I boarded my flight home. It was a 180-degree difference than the flight down. I wished I didn’t spend the way down frantically googling.
As I sat, perspective found its way through these 6 learnings tumbling around in my head:
- Patience – some problems you can continue to work, some you can’t. Do what you can and then stop. Wait until the next phase presents.
- Resilience – this inconvenience will get solved or it won’t. Either way, you rebound and get to the other side lessons learned in hand and better prepared for the next curveball. Don’t let it grind you down.
- Be kind – work or personal life you are in life’s messes with other people. They range from indifferent, to unhelpful, to empathetic. Please and thank you go a long way with those who are between you and solving a problem. You so often see people’s tempers flare and at the wrong people. Few issues resolve when angry.
- Free will – complaining brings every else down with you. You decide how much headspace you allow. I grew up with this phrase in my head — if you can write a check for something it’s a bill, not a problem. You can let inconveniences or difficulties steal your energy, your headspace and your time with people or not.
- Practice gratitude – not the “I’m glad I don’t have to deal with what they have” kind. I’ve always thought there is something twisted in that. Instead, pure gratitude for the good in all forms that present in your every day.
Related: Why The Best Leaders Empty Their Cup First
What Is This Inconvenience Meant To Teach Me
Inconveniences or problems naturally happen at both work and home. They can define our headspace in either or both if we allow.
My approach of late is to try and borrow some humility from the past and focus on the learnings – most notably – what is “this” supposed to teach me?
How are you dealing with the inconveniences of life? Are you able to frame with some perspective or is the soundtrack of what if’s playing in your head?
I’m a work in progress with keeping perspective and the learnings top of mind. When they are present, it’s hard for any ruminating to take hold.
I wish you a similar sense of perspective however you acquire. It ensures the inconveniences don’t pull your energy, time and thoughts from what’s most important in your world.
Question: How do you keep your perspective during life’s day to day problems?
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